I needed to write about this in hopes that I can enlighten some people as I have been today.
I work in an office building and in that building there are cleaning and maintenance staff.
When I moved to this building I meet the cleaning lady. Our first introduction was not that great. She barged into my cubicle and started moving things and dusting the surfaces over my head stirring up dust which inevitably would end up in my open coffee cup (Strike 1).
I sat there dumbfounded, unable to order this rude and crazy person out of my personal space. She then proceeded to tell me the "rules" of the garbage pick up. She does not handle recycling other than paper and if she finds any pop cans, paper coffee cups or water bottles, they will be put on my desk as a reminder that it is my responsibility to dispose of them.
Ok...fine! I get that we have a recycling centre in our staff kitchen, and I am totally fine with handling my own recycling but do you have to be so rude about it? It's my first day here in the office and I haven't even "broken" the rules yet (Strike 2)
Later that day, I had to go speak to a colleague and when I turned down the hall to go to his cubicle, there she was with her huge cleaning cart completely blocking the way. I stood there for a moment trying to decide how to handle this. Do I gently move the cart so I can pass (what?? and risk poking the beast?!?!?), do I say excuse me and ask her to move the cart (what??? and have her rip my head off for disrupting her cleaning process??). I stood there and waited. She saw me standing there and made no accommodation to let me pass. BITCH! (Strike 3)
These same incidences continued weekly, sometimes daily, over the past year. I tried killing her with kindness, saying good morning every morning, asking how her weekend was. Saying hello when I passed by, trying to make small talk and ALWAYS saying thank you when she came in to clean my cubicle.
None of this helped. I had surrendered to the fact that she is a cranky old lady whose misery was impenetrable. She was content to be mad at the world and just no longer worth my effort.
About a month ago, I noticed her skin was very yellow. You know, like a jaundice baby...but worse. It almost looked like she had rubbed iodine all over her skin. As the days and weeks wore on, she seemed to be getting worse. She'd miss a day here or there, she'd be moving extra slow and I often saw her sitting in the common areas, I assume, trying to catch her breath.
I came in this morning and the man at the front desk told me that she had been admitted to hospital finally. He listed a myriad of things that the women is dealing with health wise. I asked why it took until now for her to be admitted.
Turns out she has had tests done, and no one has been able to tell her anything. She is paid hourly and the thought of being hospitalized freaked her out so much she refused to go to the Hospital. She doesn't get paid if she's not here and she fears losing her job if she misses too much work.
Well now she has been hospitalized and no one knows what's going to happen.
I learned a valuable lesson here. I am always trying not to judge people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But I gave up on this woman because I didn't receive anything back from her. (Shame on me).
You never know what is happening to someone in their life outside of the context in which you know them. Their seemingly negative outlook more than likely has a root.
Be kind to your fellow humans. Even if they don't acknowledge or reciprocate your kindness, it may very well be your kindness that lifts them, even just a little.
